Paradox of Hedonism

QUOTE

Eleanor Roosevelt once said…

“Happiness is not a goal; it’s a by-product of a life well lived.”

(Activist and former First Lady of the United States)

CONCEPT

Paradox of Hedonism

The Paradox of Hedonism suggests that the single-minded pursuit of pleasure or happiness often leads to dissatisfaction rather than fulfillment.

When we focus obsessively on experiencing immediate gratifications or achieving a permanent state of happiness, we often become more aware of the gap between expectation and reality. This heightened awareness ends up undermining the very joy we crave.

Ironically, we’re more likely to stumble into deeper satisfaction and lasting contentment when we lose ourselves in meaningful work, relationships, or causes—allowing happiness to emerge as an indirect result rather than forcing it as a primary goal.

STORY

Run of the … Mill?

In 1826, a young John Stuart Mill, already a renowned intellect in London’s philosophical circles, spiraled into a severe emotional crisis.

Raised by a strict father who believed in intensive education from an early age, Mill spent his childhood poring over Greek classics, history, and logic while other children his age played outdoors. Though he became brilliantly analytical, something else was missing—an experience of genuine emotional warmth and spontaneity.

One afternoon, after devouring yet another text on ethics and political theory, Mill suddenly asked himself, “If I achieve all the goals I’ve set, will I truly be happy?”

The realization that he didn’t know the answer shook him to his core.

By his own description, he fell into a “deep melancholy,” unable to derive pleasure from the intellectual pursuits that had once defined his life. The more he tried to force a feeling of happiness—an achievement that should logically follow his accomplishments—the further away it seemed.

Months passed before Mill found solace in unexpected places: poetry, nature walks, and meaningful friendships.

He noticed that, when he stopped trying to measure or demand happiness from every activity, pleasant feelings came more naturally. He later articulated these insights in his writings, noting that happiness tends to elude those who pursue it as an ultimate end, but often graces those engaged in pursuits beyond their own immediate pleasure.